At first, I'd simply ignore these missives by correctly ascertaining their intent to part me from my rapidly dwindling resources without so much as a thank you fruit basket sent to my door. Then, I decided that I'd reply to some of these e-mails with a desire to improve their creative efforts. My first suggestion was to consider changing the names of my generous correspondents from "Mr. Goodluck" to something a bit more mysterious, yet encouraging trust such as Mr. Largesswithabigheartthatlovesamericanbaseball. These requests have been, so far, ignored, or at best, I'm sent the same missive as before.
I then decided to take a courageous tack and bring to their attention the uncharitable attention that others have brought to bear on receiving missives themselves. Namely, that their attempts to contact us were scams.
This brought a change. I just received correspondance this morning from a Mr. James Schoenberg who has acknowledged my concerns and as a result has arranged a special delivery with Fed Ex which will contain a cheque for 2.3 million. The lading paperwork will, (how deducedly clever old chap}, describe the contents as "scientific equipment" so as to not arouse the suspicion of would be thieves.
It will take some time to create a reply to such a worthy effort to load such unforeseen benefits upon me. I will post, next time, both the correspondance from Mr. James Schoenberg (the old fruit has attempted to forge intimate relations with me by referring to me as "My dear") and my response.
